The Blessed Life of a Single Mom

     I'm slightly frustrated. I put the girls to bed an hour ago, and now, at 10:40, I am still telling them to be quiet and go to sleep. They are both wide awake. So, my solution was to turn off the night light. They got quiet really quick.      Tonight they aired a special on a triple murder and kidnapping that happened in the area last November. All the fear that I had overcome from it came right back. I had to go out to my car tonight to get something, and I was so afraid that someone was going to come from nowhere and take me away. That's what most women in the area felt in the weeks and months after the murders. I have a feeling that the horrible nights of waking up fearing someone is inside my apartment will start again. I had nights for months where I would wake up searching my room or house for an intruder. My heart would be racing. One night I even woke up believing I saw someone standing outside my bedroom window. It's a second story window with nothing to stan

At prayer meeting tonight I was given some wonderful references by different people to encourage me, and to pray. Those references brought to mind some other scriptures that I have always held dear. I felt lead to share them. Please take the time to read through each verse. "I am worn out waiting for Your rescue, but I have put my hope in Your word."  Psalm 119:81 (NLT) "Please listen and answer me, for I am overwhelmed by my troubles."  Psalm 55:2 (NLT) "The Lord Himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."  Exodus 14:14 (NLT) "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask Him, be sure

    It will take an absolute miracle (or very manipulative person) to ever get me to go on a blind date again. Many of my friends have great success stories revolving around their blind dates. They married and had kids and blah blah blah. Well, my experience with the whole thing has me convinced that it's not for me. One friend, after hearing my stories, decided that she won't ever try it either. She's recently divorced and told me that my experience is all she needed to hear. Hahaha!! The names of the "men" <--more like morons, in this story will be changed.  The First Blind Date (approx summer 2007 or 2008):      My boss has wonderfully good intentions. She would never in a million years purposefully set me up with an idiot. One of our customers (that she had known since he was a little kid) came into the restaurant one day. She asked him if he was seeing anyone, and he told her about how he was sick of all these women that say they are Christians but then d

     My children have taken to writing notes, coloring pictures, and cutting paper into shapes and leaving the tiny clippings all over my floor. It's usually frustrating when I see the mess, but highly entertaining when they tell me about what they have been doing, read their phonetically spelled notes to me that I can't read, and are all happy and excited. Courtney wrote me a note that, when translated, said "Dear Mama, please go to daddy.com." followed by her begging me "Just give it a try. Once chance. It has a picture of them, tells their name, where they work, what they are like. What do you expect, some guy to just come knock on our door and ask 'will you marry me?'. Not gonna happen. Just give it a chance." So, to ease her mind, I went to daddy.com and showed her that it is just a place for dad's to go to learn how to be a good dad. So she changed it to findahusband.com. Oh joyous joys.      Jenna showed me a recipe for cookie pie that sh

    I finally have a picture of the squirrel that has been living in my wall. It explains why he can get through every patch that has been put over his entrance. Now, all I need to do is find his kryptonite and I'll have the upper hand.

I feel like sleeping, not blogging, so this will be a bit more rushed than normal. It's been so long since I've posted anything, I just felt that it was about time I caught up (not that anyone really cares. Haha).     Being sick got me behind in everything from laundry and dishes to sleep and school work with the girls. . . and editing photos. Now life has been full of catching up and cleaning up.     I found the cure to Courtney's inability to sleep before I go to bed. Constant music. I found a Disney lullaby cd at the library, and have been playing it all night in their room. Courtney sleeps so much better, which means I sleep much better!      My photography session scheduling went crazy the past 2 months and I have been struggling to keep up with all the editing. The editing takes lots of time. Here's an example: I sat for 3 hours straight just color correcting wedding pictures. You would normally think "WOW!! She probably got a whole lot done!" Nope. O

     So my life since Wednesday has been filled with resting, working around the house when I feel a little better, working, and resting. ie, lots of Grey's Anatomy. Nyquil and Dayquil are my best friends, along with Halls citrus cough drops. Today I feel much better than I have, except for one thing. My throat is terribly dry feeling but it's not dry. My kids have all the energy in the world, which makes me even more tired. Courtney just came over to me with $1 in dimes and told me that "Grandma said we can buy the kitten from her for only ONE dollar. I have one dollar here. I can buy the kitten." :/ or not. I just told her to put the money away and go lay down and watch a movie. It's too late for an afternoon nap, but they are exhausted. I just finished a family photo shoot, in which time my cough drops lost all effectiveness. :( That's all I feel like saying. I'm going to curl up in a ball on the couch with more Grey's Anatomy and a blanket. Nothing

     So, weekends around here are usually insane. Especially as of late. Friday starts with doing school in the morning. It's a short day for us because I have to work in the late afternoon. I took the girls out to my parents after a hair raising school session with Courtney. All she had to do was write a short story, practice her handwriting, write her full name out a hand full of times and then write our phone number down 8 times for memorization purposes. It ended up being a tear filled 8 times, and anger just glowed from her face because "Why do I need to know your phone number? I'm always with you!". So, anyways, I took them out to my parents, dropped a DVD of edited pictures off to a client, and then went to work. After work, and a quick trip to Walmart for Small Group snack supplies, I went to my co-worker's house for a bonfire. It was fun, we took goofy pictures, talked and ate s'mores. Well, by the time I got home and in bed it was 2am. Then I had to

I made a decision to start getting up early every morning. Early to me is 7:30. Today was my first day, and it was so easy! Till the girls heard me and woke up. Lesson Learned: I can make NO noise whatsoever if I want to get up before my children. Now I have cranky, fighting little monsters. I decided to start my "fall cleaning". I love fall. It is my most favorite and productive season. I decided after rearranging some things in my kitchen to make brownies. Great idea! So I started making them, then I opened the fridge and realized my eggs were . . .way out of date! Lesson Learned (not for the first time): Always check for ALL ingredients before making anything. Now I have brownies half mixed and have to take the girls to the store with me. Dun dun dunnnnnnn. I'm sure I will learn some more lessons. As for right now, I just have to remember to take the stuff due back at the library today with us.

     Today was my "Mom's Day Off". I took the girls to a friends house so they could load up and go to the zoo for the day. I headed to work for a few hours, and then had the rest of the day to myself. *sigh* Oh how wonderful it was. I went home and got my computer, headed to the park to edit with a friend while she studied. Then I went to dinner with another friend, the kids she babysits, and her son (who became my son for the duration of our meal). I then ran to the bank, went home and waited for my kids to be dropped off. It was wonderful!!    When the girls got home, Courtney was so exhausted that she began to cry. She missed me. I love being missed. I love having kids who, although they had a great day out, missed me so much that they just want to be held.     While we were on our way to the girls friends house this morning, I remembered to tell them that my childhood best friend was pregnant again! It went something like this: Me - "Girls, you know Mary? Wel

2,977 people died that day. 343 of them were firefighters who went into the buildings after the planes hit to save the lives of those trapped inside. Never forget.

Today is a day we will never forget. We will never forget where we were, what we were doing, or the feelings brought on as we watched the news in those first few moments. We will never forget hearing President Bush, his voice full of assurance. We will never forget the stories of those lost on that day.    I was 17 years old and getting ready for my first day of work at the Mexican restaurant I still work at today. We all gathered around the TV in my brothers bedroom and watched as the tragedy played out. I didn't want to go to work. I wanted to go to the fire department I was part of and just be with the guys to watch the news. We knew what some didn't even think about. Those towers would surely fall, and our brothers in the service would continue up those stairs regardless. 343 (I also heard 347, so I'm not sure which is correct) fellow firefighters lost their lives that day. Climbing the stairs with gear, hoses, equipment. Encouraging and helping get everyone out. Thin

You know the feeling of trying to get everything done, rushing, stressing, worried about getting it all done. Well, why do we do what we do? What is our reason, our purpose, our mindset. Do we grumble? Do we get easily angered? Do we forget what we're doing it for? I know I do. I forget so often WHY I'm doing things, and just know that I have to get them done. I get so caught up in the what, that purpose just disappears. There is a new song out by Steven Curtis Chapman called "Do Everything". It pretty much sent a shock wave through me. Do Everything - Steven Curtis Chapman Your picking up toys on the living room floor for the 15th time today Matching up socks Sweeping up lost cheerios that got away You put a baby on your hip Color on your lips and head out the door While I may not know you,  I bet I know you Wonder sometimes, does it matter at all? Well let me remind you, it all matters just as long As you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made yo

Today has been interesting to say the least.  I tried to get Courtney to clean the bathroom, and Jenna ended up fighting and WINNING the right to clean it by herself. She did a pretty decent job at it for being the half-hearted cleaner that she is.  Oreo pop tarts were the breakfast of choice at 11am because they had yet to "be hungry".  When Jenna was helping with laundry, I realized that she throws every piece of clothing, clean or dirty, into the hamper because it's easier to clean that way.   Courtney announced that "This was the worst summer ever! It was so humiliating and hot!" She also asked for her timeout for shutting a door on her sister's finger to be spent in the kitchen pantry with the door closed.   Running out of apple cider was the worst possible thing they could imagine. And it happened.  They "caged" their stuffed animals under the Crayola easel with a wire basket while they were supposed to be making their beds.  I learned how b

I was listening to Avalon’s album “Faith: A Hymns Collection” today, and the song “In Christ Alone” really got thinking about the lyrics. In Christ alone my hope is found He is my light, my strength, my song This cornerstone, this solid ground Firm through the fiercest drought and storm What heights of love, what depths of peace When fears are stilled, when striving ceased My comforter, my all in all Here in the love of Christ I stand (This part really played out in my mind.) In Christ alone who took on flesh Fullness of God in helpless Babe This gift of love and righteousness Scorned by the ones He came to save Till on that cross as Jesus died The wrath of God was satisfied For every sin on Him was laid Here in the death of Christ I live Think about those words. What really got me was the line “scorned by the ones He came to save.” I just imagine how His heart must have stung, thinking of all He came to do for them, only to have them despise Him. I imagine a scene where He is wa

I couldn't let the day end without telling about my surprise picnic tonight. It was, as I called it, romantic. We were out at my parents today, and Jenna came and whispered in my ear that I was going to have a picnic with just her. A little bit later I went to find her. She was in the kitchen making peanut butter and honey half sandwiches. She bagged them up, had two plums bagged up, and a blanket. She put them all in a basket with a handle and told me to wait while she set it up. I was told to close my eyes and she led me down to the basement where she set up our picnic on a mattress (it was too cold and windy to have it outside under the trees). We had the most wonderful picnic ever, even though I died twice from a "peanut butter allergy" that I decided to have just for a moment. I was informed that I should be careful when I die, because I could crack my head on the concrete floor. We snuggled while she ate my plum because she dropped hers on the dirty floor and didn&#

I was thinking today about what life would be like if I didn't have children. Single and childless. I decided that I would be a very lonely person. I would absorb my life into things, but not have anyone to share those things with. I wouldn't have bedtime prayers that include "And Lord, I pray for the people of Africa. Lord, I pray that no lions would attack them." I wouldn't have help deciding what to wear in an open childlike way. "Mom you need to wear the shoes that make you taller. Not that you're short, but well, you are." I wouldn't have help getting groceries "Mom, we are NOT getting brownie mix again! They are not healthy!" I wouldn't have signs taped to my cupboards saying "Don't catch the house on fire" and "Can play games." or "Courtney's hideout" taped to the pantry door. I wouldn't get to have surprise picnics with Jenna on the basement floor at my parents with peanut butter and

Every year we watch the Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon. This is not a small tradition out of lack of anything better to do. This is a part of our daily lives. Four of my five brothers were born with Deuchennes Muscular Dystrophy. They were diagnosed in 1990 and were given a life expectancy of mid teens. Caleb, the oldest, was about 8 at the time, Chad was around 4 and Josh was 1, Davey was born in 1994. Jerry Lewis' Labor Day Telethon took on a whole new meaning to our family. I was only 6, and don't remember much beyond some doctors appointments in Columbus. Caleb is now only months from turning 30, Chad would have just turned 25, Josh is 22, and Davey is 17. We have been blessed with great doctors, medication for their heart function, and people all across the country praying for our family.  Chad passed away in February 2004 at the age of 17. I was pregnant with Courtney at the time. Neither she or Jenna ever got to meet him. I try my very best to make up for that in telling them

Everyone loves to hear the random and silly things that come out of the mouths of my girls. So today I decided to document some of them for you.      One night I was watching the 10 o'clock news. My brother was in a Columbus hospital with pneumonia and Mom was with him. The girls were in bed and I THOUGHT Courtney was asleep. After a news story about the many recent shootings in Columbus, Courtney came out in tears and worry. "Mom, I'm just so worried about Grammy and Caleb. I'm afraid for their safety! The news said there was a recent increase of violence on the streets of Columbus." I took a few minutes to explain things to her, calm her poor worried heart, and sent her back to bed.      We were at Walmart one Spring day last year. We decided to go look at all the different seeds they had for gardening. The girls wanted to identify each plant by it's picture. They identified each correctly. It was so much fun. We were at the packets of bean seeds, and we

For the past several weeks my oldest daughter, Courtney, has had a lot of trouble falling to sleep. It doesn't matter how tired she is or what I try, she cannot and will not fall asleep until after I go to bed. Sometimes even later than that. We have tried cherries, Benadryl, Melatonin, early mornings, music, night lights, stories... the list goes on. Nothing works. She comes out with bloodshot eyes crying that she can't sleep. I've tried being sympathetic, mean, loving, harsh. Still nothing works. She is going on little sleep which means she is cranky 90% of the time. This, plus homeschooling, has really been trying my patience. My thoughts on where this all started goes back to about a month ago. The weather at night was cooling down, so I opened the windows. For some reason, Courtney ended up in my bed in the middle of the night. Around 3am a semi came through. Now, we live right on a St Rt in town. We get lots of semis coming through in the middle of the night. But on

Sometime last year we discovered a squirrel was coming into the walls of my house through where power lines USED to go into the exterior wall. The landlord's handy man patched the hole.  The Squirrels "Secret Entrance" The squirrel tore the patch off and came back into the wall. The handyman patched the hole again. . . only to have the squirrel work his way back in yet again. Well, the squirrel seemed to be gone, left the patch alone, and we heard no more scuffling and scratching around in the wall. . . til today. I'm living in my own version of Caddyshack!! The squirrel and I have had a few stare downs outside. We watch him walking across the lines outside the kitchen window. I want him DEAD.  He comes over on the lines from the tree. The view from my kitchen window. We watch him cross on the line several times a day. The trap and bait My landlord just brought over a squirrel trap and a jar of chunky peanut butter. I'm going to set it

A day like today has convinced me that I needed to start a blog. The unreal drama of homeschooling my two girls made me realize that I really need to document this. I have stories, I have a squirrel, I have dramatic daughters. I don't know how well I'll do with keeping up with this, but why not give it a try. Courtney is in 1st grade. She is 7 years old and has the "oldest child" personality mixed with "Allen family" personality. It makes for a good lesson in patience and teaching anger management. . . to both of us. Jenna is in kindergarten. She's 6. She's more laid back, but very much an instigator and drama runs through her veins. "I just don't feel loved." is a common sentence from Jenna. The girls are 1 hour and 42 minutes short of being 11 months apart to the MINUTE. Yes. Crazy. I know. No, I did NOT plan on that. God had a plan and a big sense of humor. Besides being a homeschooling single mom, I waitress, do photography, an