It will take an absolute miracle (or very manipulative person) to ever get me to go on a blind date again. Many of my friends have great success stories revolving around their blind dates. They married and had kids and blah blah blah. Well, my experience with the whole thing has me convinced that it's not for me. One friend, after hearing my stories, decided that she won't ever try it either. She's recently divorced and told me that my experience is all she needed to hear. Hahaha!! The names of the "men" <--more like morons, in this story will be changed.
And that my friends, is my traumatic experience with blind dates
The First Blind Date (approx summer 2007 or 2008):
My boss has wonderfully good intentions. She would never in a million years purposefully set me up with an idiot. One of our customers (that she had known since he was a little kid) came into the restaurant one day. She asked him if he was seeing anyone, and he told her about how he was sick of all these women that say they are Christians but then don't live like it. She told him she had someone in mind and asked if he could give out his number. She had originally thought of her niece, but when I came into work later that week, she changed her mind to me. She told me about him, and I was pretty sure I knew who she was talking about. Really good looking guy. Let's call him Fred. So, she called Fred and told him about me and gave him my number. Fred owns his own construction business. He was also trying to get onto a volunteer fire dept.
Fred texted me and set up that we would go out after I got off work around 9:30pm and go get something to eat. Something simple. I called him after work to get the details of everything. He warned me that he, at 30something years old, he lived in his parents basement at the time. Business was down and so he was saving money, wanted to buy a house. Blah blah blah. I thought in my head "If I did construction, I would turn my parents basement into an apartment kind of thing. Make it at least look nice or whatever." And I didn't want to judge, so I said that was fine. I was to meet him at his parents and we would go from there.
I got to his parents house and he was waiting outside. We decided that I would drive, got in the Explorer, and headed on our way. He was acting a little strange, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I asked where we were going, and he said "How about we get something at a drive-thru and watch a movie back at home?" I knew his dad was there, and figured it would at least give me a good escape to not have to worry about him getting home if things didn't go well. By the time we got to Taco Bell, I figured out he had been drinking before I got there. Not enough to reek of it, but enough to be acting like an idiot. I was STARVING, so I ordered our food, and we went back to his parents house.
His dad was in the living room when we walked in. I introduced myself and made small talk. Fred then wanted to show me where he lived, said we could eat down there and watch a movie there, too. Do not worry about me, I had a knife in my pocket and knew how to break a nose and scream really loud. His parents were both there, so I knew I'd be ok. So by then I was sure he was plastered drunk. He was also extremely arrogant, but not in a way he had earned. He was pretty immature and stupid. He apologized and told me that he left a bachelor party to meet me. He had been drinking and had his dad pick him up and bring him home so he could go out with me. Great. Enabling parents.
OH! I have to tell you about his "room" in the basement!! It was an unfinished basement with a wall going across the middle that had a mini fridge, a few cupboards, a sink, hundreds of DVDs and a tv. His bed was just set up against the block wall with an old faded PINK comforter thrown across it. It was a giant mess. I had lived in my parents basement twice before. I knew how to make it at least a little like "home" to me.
So he turned on the NEWS and told me he'd sit on the chair that was covered in his clothes, and I could sit on the bed. Oh joy. I ate part of my first taco, mentally calculating how best to leave. He said "Do you want to watch a movie? I will warn you I'll probably fall asleep when it gets started." I said "If you fell asleep, I would just leave." That offended Fred "That's not very nice!" I said "I'm going to actually leave now." Got up and headed upstairs. I told his dad it was nice to meet him, and headed out the door. Fred followed me out, and tried to give me a very awkward hug. I got in my car, called my boss while laughing, and told her all about it. She was HORRIFIED!!
Fred was referred to as "Drunk guy" from then on. He came into my work one night while I was there with the hopes of smoothing things out with me. I wouldn't even look at him. He even tried to reach out and grab my hand, so I moved to the side and continued to walk by. My boss sat down with him and said "She's mad. She's not going to talk to you." He said "I wanted to come talk to her. I want to get out of the doghouse." My boss made it clear that to be in the doghouse you have to have had a relationship, and we never had that. I learned a lot from that blind date. However, it didn't stop me from accepting another set up....
Second blind date (approx fall 2007 or 2008):
My boss set me up again. YES I KNOW!!! Glutton for punishment. We'll call this guy "Hank" This time, though, I started out with emailing, then phone calls, and then set up a time and place to meet. Hank seemed like a pretty good guy. He had just moved back to the area from Northern Ohio. He, too, was living in his dad's basement, but said he was looking for a place to live (as far as I know, he still lives in his dad's basement). He had a good full time job at a local factory. He had also recently lost 100lbs (why this is relevant will make sense later). I talked to him a few times on the phone before we met in person.
We decided to meet at Sips. I got there right on time. He was the bald guy sitting alone. We shook hands and I noticed that Hank's hands were softer than mine, and that was just. . . not my thing. So he asked what I wanted and went to order it for me. Hank sat and looked all googly eyed at me and commented on my earrings, my style, my hair. . . just really awkward. I HATE it when guys sit and look at you all googly eyed. It's creepy. I noticed that, although he had lost a lot of weight, he never updated his wardrobe. You know, bought clothes that fit. His clothes were way too big, and it looked sloppy. That's when I noticed the smell. He didn't go home from work in the hour and a half between when he got off work and we met, to take a shower. He smelled sweaty. Bad sweaty. We made awkward conversation, and Hank decided he was hungry for dinner. He asked if I was up for Friendly's. I wasn't one to turn down a free meal, so we went to Friendly's. Not a good idea. More awkward googly eyes across the table at me. On the way back, because I was stupid and rode with him, he put his hand on my knee. I was like "nope!". We got back to my car, and he got out to walk me to it. He went to give me a hug goodbye. At this point I was pretty cold. It was a very chilly September night and I didn't have a jacket. I figured, quick hug, and leave. Well, that was a bad idea, because he swiftly without warning went to give me a kiss. A full on the mouth tongue down my throat kiss. I pushed him away, got in my car, and on the 4 block drive home, spit and spit and spit. It was DISGUSTING!!! I used a lot of Scope that night. I didn't answer his texts, calls or emails for days. I was calming down before I told him that it was not gonna happen. I emailed him and told him that what he did was not 1st blind date appropriate at all. Not even 5th date appropriate. I tried to be nice and let him down easy. He emailed me back and said he was sorry, that I was young and inexperienced. Well, that was not the right thing to say to me. So, I took the nice filter off and emailed him back. I told him exactly what I thought and ended with "I have been married, I have 2 kids. I have more experience in my pinky finger than you have in your whole body."
And that my friends, is my traumatic experience with blind dates
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