I'm slightly frustrated. I put the girls to bed an hour ago, and now, at 10:40, I am still telling them to be quiet and go to sleep. They are both wide awake. So, my solution was to turn off the night light. They got quiet really quick.
Tonight they aired a special on a triple murder and kidnapping that happened in the area last November. All the fear that I had overcome from it came right back. I had to go out to my car tonight to get something, and I was so afraid that someone was going to come from nowhere and take me away. That's what most women in the area felt in the weeks and months after the murders. I have a feeling that the horrible nights of waking up fearing someone is inside my apartment will start again. I had nights for months where I would wake up searching my room or house for an intruder. My heart would be racing. One night I even woke up believing I saw someone standing outside my bedroom window. It's a second story window with nothing to stand on outside. Someone would have had to be levitating to be standing there. Let me just say, jumping out of bed and launching across the room at nothing, half awake, can be VERY painful. Especially when you have children who leave things lying around. At least it's not an irrational fear, like the time I woke up believing that (the newly discovered living in my walls) squirrel was in my bedroom.
I made the mistake of getting Netflix. It is such a horrible distraction!! I have been watching Say Yes to the Dress. I watch and wonder if I'll ever get to "say yes to a dress" or not (and if there's one out there that would even look good on me). And then I'll tear up when I think of the someday, too soon, that Courtney and Jenna will be shopping for their own wedding dresses. Jenna said that she is going to get married, Courtney said she's pretty sure she will. Sadly, I was informed that they will not marry me.
Jenna and I ran our first 5K together. She was the youngest runner. We finished in about 45 minutes. We hit the halfway mark at 18minutes and some odd seconds. I let her set our pace, and she decided when we walked and when we ran. We ran a majority of the time. She did SO good. I couldn't have been more proud of her. They gave her a dog tag before the race started that said "ROCCFest 5K" on it. I told her that was her metal for winning. She wanted to know why she got it before the race, and I told her that it was because they knew she was the youngest runner, so that made her a winner. She wanted so badly to win because our house needed a trophy. Haha!!
Courtney had her first Prayer Retreat at church. She was there from Saturday morning until Sunday morning. She did so good! I didn't even get a phone call before she went to bed! I did, however, get a very angry greeting when I got downstairs to pick her up, and she found out that we and just gotten there and were staying for second service. She was SOO tired! I let her sleep in my lap through the service, and then we all took a family nap after lunch. She is still recovering almost a week later. G.R.U.M.P.Y.
So, I learned, at almost 28 years old, that I like green bean casserole. Courtney LOVES it, so I decided to make her a little one earlier this week. I, in a moment of adult-ness, gave it a taste. . . and I ate a lot of the onion toppers out of the can. I also decided to try eating some peas in my Aunt Jody's beef stew that she sent home with me on Monday. They were good. Never in my life have I ever liked peas. It's funny what you learn when you try things.
My sister gave me "dating" advice. She told me that I need to be the one to strike up the initial conversation and ask the guy to meet for coffee. I don't think she knows me very well. I'm NOT the type to speak in coherent sentences when a single guy of interest is involved. This conversation came about when she asked me what I want for my birthday. I told her I want a date with a hot guy with morals (and yes, being a Christian is a must). She told me she didn't know any, except for the one she's dating. As flattering as that was, I told her that he's too young. I can't remember the last time I went on a date. I'm not sure that I have EVER gone on a real REAL date. My ex husband's idea of a date was fast food and a movie. I always drove and he always picked the movies. Horrible waste of time movies. I don't even know what a real date looks like.
A zombie like child just walked through the living room. I think I should go check on what the half-sleeping little girl is doing.
The End.
Tonight they aired a special on a triple murder and kidnapping that happened in the area last November. All the fear that I had overcome from it came right back. I had to go out to my car tonight to get something, and I was so afraid that someone was going to come from nowhere and take me away. That's what most women in the area felt in the weeks and months after the murders. I have a feeling that the horrible nights of waking up fearing someone is inside my apartment will start again. I had nights for months where I would wake up searching my room or house for an intruder. My heart would be racing. One night I even woke up believing I saw someone standing outside my bedroom window. It's a second story window with nothing to stand on outside. Someone would have had to be levitating to be standing there. Let me just say, jumping out of bed and launching across the room at nothing, half awake, can be VERY painful. Especially when you have children who leave things lying around. At least it's not an irrational fear, like the time I woke up believing that (the newly discovered living in my walls) squirrel was in my bedroom.
I made the mistake of getting Netflix. It is such a horrible distraction!! I have been watching Say Yes to the Dress. I watch and wonder if I'll ever get to "say yes to a dress" or not (and if there's one out there that would even look good on me). And then I'll tear up when I think of the someday, too soon, that Courtney and Jenna will be shopping for their own wedding dresses. Jenna said that she is going to get married, Courtney said she's pretty sure she will. Sadly, I was informed that they will not marry me.
Jenna and I ran our first 5K together. She was the youngest runner. We finished in about 45 minutes. We hit the halfway mark at 18minutes and some odd seconds. I let her set our pace, and she decided when we walked and when we ran. We ran a majority of the time. She did SO good. I couldn't have been more proud of her. They gave her a dog tag before the race started that said "ROCCFest 5K" on it. I told her that was her metal for winning. She wanted to know why she got it before the race, and I told her that it was because they knew she was the youngest runner, so that made her a winner. She wanted so badly to win because our house needed a trophy. Haha!!
Courtney had her first Prayer Retreat at church. She was there from Saturday morning until Sunday morning. She did so good! I didn't even get a phone call before she went to bed! I did, however, get a very angry greeting when I got downstairs to pick her up, and she found out that we and just gotten there and were staying for second service. She was SOO tired! I let her sleep in my lap through the service, and then we all took a family nap after lunch. She is still recovering almost a week later. G.R.U.M.P.Y.
So, I learned, at almost 28 years old, that I like green bean casserole. Courtney LOVES it, so I decided to make her a little one earlier this week. I, in a moment of adult-ness, gave it a taste. . . and I ate a lot of the onion toppers out of the can. I also decided to try eating some peas in my Aunt Jody's beef stew that she sent home with me on Monday. They were good. Never in my life have I ever liked peas. It's funny what you learn when you try things.
My sister gave me "dating" advice. She told me that I need to be the one to strike up the initial conversation and ask the guy to meet for coffee. I don't think she knows me very well. I'm NOT the type to speak in coherent sentences when a single guy of interest is involved. This conversation came about when she asked me what I want for my birthday. I told her I want a date with a hot guy with morals (and yes, being a Christian is a must). She told me she didn't know any, except for the one she's dating. As flattering as that was, I told her that he's too young. I can't remember the last time I went on a date. I'm not sure that I have EVER gone on a real REAL date. My ex husband's idea of a date was fast food and a movie. I always drove and he always picked the movies. Horrible waste of time movies. I don't even know what a real date looks like.
A zombie like child just walked through the living room. I think I should go check on what the half-sleeping little girl is doing.
The End.
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