Skip to main content

Picking Apart

This week I began praying through Psalm 27. I love praying through verses because it helps me study the bible, and to really dig into praying more intentionally. I pick apart each line, praying and reflecting over the words and how they apply to my life.

Verse one says
"The Lord is my light and my salvation
-so why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
so why should I tremble?"

 I picked it apart.

"The Lord is my light." I am going through some things right now, and had been calling this time my darkness. But this verse says the Lord is my light. There can be no darkness where there is light. I am going through a valley, but there is no darkness because I have Christ.

"And my salvation." My salvation is not dependent upon me. And in fact nothing I do can really stand in God's way, so why am I afraid?

"So why should I be afraid?" Well, imagine my chuckle after thinking that previous ending thought, and then reading these next words.

"The Lord is my fortress." Not the shell I have retreated into. It's not a fortress so much as an illusion of one.

"Protecting me from danger." My shell has not protected me, but instead caused harm by shutting others out, by putting me in that mental place where my insecurities and fears attack and break me down. God provides me a safe fortress to protect me from even myself.

"So why should I tremble?" Why am I cowering in fear of these feelings of not being good enough? Not being good enough at anything, for anything, for anyone? Why am I so afraid of the opinions of others when their opinions most often are not reflective of my character? It doesn't change who I am in Christ.

In picking apart these verses in reflection and in prayer, I have been growing. In seeking Christ more intentionally, I have been finding myself more and more. How amazing that I was looking in all these places and failing over and over, yet when I get back to seeking Christ instead of myself, I find myself there!! In Him!

One of my favorite verses is verse 8.

"My heart has heard You say, "Come and talk with Me."
And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."

 I had been feeling Christ calling to my heart, and it took me a little bit, but my heart was responding, it was working it's way back to where it belongs. My identity is in Christ, and when I am feeling like I am losing myself, I only need to seek Him.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

9/11

Today is a day we will never forget. We will never forget where we were, what we were doing, or the feelings brought on as we watched the news in those first few moments. We will never forget hearing President Bush, his voice full of assurance. We will never forget the stories of those lost on that day.    I was 17 years old and getting ready for my first day of work at the Mexican restaurant I still work at today. We all gathered around the TV in my brothers bedroom and watched as the tragedy played out. I didn't want to go to work. I wanted to go to the fire department I was part of and just be with the guys to watch the news. We knew what some didn't even think about. Those towers would surely fall, and our brothers in the service would continue up those stairs regardless. 343 (I also heard 347, so I'm not sure which is correct) fellow firefighters lost their lives that day. Climbing the stairs with gear, hoses, equipment. Encouraging and helping get everyone out. Thin
1 comment
Read more

Tenth Avenue North - Worn

I feel like an emotional roller coaster. I feel like I'm happy one minute, and then the next something brings me to tears. I sat down to do my devotions this morning, and it seemed like everything was against me. Phone ringing, kids needing me for something, mind wandering. I finally got my peace and quiet and dove in.  I am so excited as I am starting a 90 day study on the life of Jesus. I finished one on David, and loved it. At the end of today's it asked a few questions that really made me just stop and think. What do I hope to experience at Jesus' feet? What am I bringing that needs healing? What emptiness or brokenness needs mending? Tears began to fall. What do you want to say to Him at the outset of this journey? Prayer began to pour out. Part of my heart has been dealing with the some of the feelings I had not addressed from sitting at the hospital watching Caleb slip away. Anger. Anger that God would let this all happen. Questioning. What if God isn't real
Post a Comment
Read more

Reflections on My Year of New Things

Last year I decided it was a year of new things. New adventures. Trying new things. Well, looking back, it was. It was a great year! I'm bold and daring and a "Take the bull by the horns" kind of girl. But don't let that fool you. New things scare me. I don't like the unknown. I like knowing exactly what I'm doing and what's expected of me. New = unknown. So, while I'll jump in head first, it takes me a lot of mental prep to actually jump. W4: I was so blessed to be asked to be the water games coordinator for our VBS last year. I was very unsure of what I was getting myself into. The fun and safety of 200+ kids in the water!? I was blessed to have a great coordination team to work with in the planning stages, and God blessed me beyond belief with my water games leaders and staff. We had a fabulous week! I was one staff member short for leaders, so I was also the preschool game leader. It was crazy fun, but I had to be EXTRA loud to be heard with all
1 comment
Read more