Skip to main content

Very Long Day with Darla

Today was a long and hard day. I feel like I need to just get it out so I can rest easier tonight. It started with a text "Why is Caleb in the ICU?" Ummmmm???? So I called Dad. Caleb missed several beats in a row, and was in heart failure. His kidneys were failing, or pretty much had failed. He had been moved into the ICU (just the other side of the cardiac wing) in the middle of the night. They were trying to get his heart settled down. To hear my dad start crying on the other end of the line really just sunk me. I cried quietly hoping to not wake the girls.
I started figuring out what my plan of action for the day was going to be. Then Dad called to say Caleb's heart was settled down and they were going to start him on dialysis, which would take a while to get going. THEN Dad called to say he was heading over and wanted to know if I was coming with him. So I took the girls to a friend's house and went to Children's to spend the day with Mom, Caleb, Danielle, Dad, and several friends and family members that came by throughout the day.
Caleb was so swollen and weak. He was on sedatives for some of the dialysis set up process. They had to put a central line in to his neck. I'd want a sedative for that! He would wake up to weakly say a thing or two, and then fall back to sleep mid sentence. He stayed like that the entire day. Later, when they were getting more into the process of getting him ready for dialysis, they gave him Ativan to help him sleep to curb his anxiety. He had a terrible experience with dialysis over a year ago, and nearly died. So, the anxiety was very much expected.
I had many ups and downs during the course of the day. I sat and cried silent tears when no one was watching. I goofed off with my dear cousin Clare. I saw my dad trying so hard to hold it together. Dad named the dialysis machine Darla, as I had decided it needed a name.

Cousin Clare with Darla

The machine that heats the blanket on Caleb to keep him warm through this is named R2-D2. We use humor and such to cope in times like this. We're not dark and mean, we just do what we have to to get through.
I drove my sister's car home in silence. Mostly thinking of nothing. Sometimes thinking over the day, but too tired to really go there. He's so sick. So very sick. He'll be in there for 2 weeks IF his kidneys start functioning again and they get his other medical conditions straightened out. If NOT, it will be longer. Mom will stay with him the whole time. Dad will go over as often as he can. I'll go over when I can, with or without the girls. I'll have to beg friends to watch the girls while I work. It's not all that hard, just have to find someone for the shifts I work. I just hate feeling like I'm burdening other people. Thankfully this week is covered.
My parents 33rd Anniversary is on Friday. They'll spend it in the ICU with Caleb. Courtney's 9th birthday is Saturday. She is so sad that he won't be home for her birthday. She's so sad that he is so sick.
I'm trying to be strong. I'm trying to function when it feels like everything is about to crash down around me. I was very short with the girls tonight when trying to get them to bed. I'm sure I wasn't that great of a mom in that time span. I feel terrible. It's not their fault that I'm stressed. Sure, they could have not been fighting like feral cats, but still, I could have handled it much better. I told the girls they could sleep in my bed though, because I want to snuggle them and hold them tight tonight. I know that when I go to bed, it's all going to hit me. All of today. I'll try not to cry and wake them up. Freak them out. Ugh. Also, if this seems scattered and all over the place to you, that is how I feel right now. And on that note, Goodnight!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Life Gets a Little Crazy

I feel like sleeping, not blogging, so this will be a bit more rushed than normal. It's been so long since I've posted anything, I just felt that it was about time I caught up (not that anyone really cares. Haha).     Being sick got me behind in everything from laundry and dishes to sleep and school work with the girls. . . and editing photos. Now life has been full of catching up and cleaning up.     I found the cure to Courtney's inability to sleep before I go to bed. Constant music. I found a Disney lullaby cd at the library, and have been playing it all night in their room. Courtney sleeps so much better, which means I sleep much better!      My photography session scheduling went crazy the past 2 months and I have been struggling to keep up with all the editing. The editing takes lots of time. Here's an example: I sat for 3 hours straight just color correcting wedding pictures. You would normally think "WOW!! She probably got a whole lot done!"...

“...In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Caleb's funeral was today. There were so many emotions going. It started out okay. People coming in, greeting them, trying to find where my girls were running off to with friends and cousins. So many people came to support us yesterday and today. We were so blessed and so thankful to all who came. It was a great funeral. The music, the message, the friends who got up and spoke. Some of the things said that really meant a lot to me were: 1) Anyone who says that someone physically handicap has no quality of life needs just to look at the life of Caleb to be proven 100% wrong. He lived life to it's fullest. He was a great man of God who studied theology, he wrote wonderfully, and he loved people. His lifelong battle with Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy never got in the way of his faith, family, and friends. He didn't complain about his handicap. He lived strong in spite of it. 2) Anyone who knows my family knows what trials we have faced. One friend said: All of you ou...

The Things that Come with Mourning

My amazing, wonderful, Godly, and dear brother Caleb died on Friday, August 9th, 2013 at 10:35am. My parents 33rd wedding anniversary and the day before Courtney's 9th birthday. My heart is crushed. I know that he is in heaven, and I am praising the Lord at this. I have peace and joy. But right now I am mourning his earthly departure. I miss him so very much. I'm straining my memory to hear his voice. I'm helping my daughters grieve. I'm watching them try to process and deal with this, and it is breaking my heart. Some things I am learning about mourning. You really just don't care about things. Like laundry. I realized I desperately need to do laundry. I also don't care. Maybe I'll do it. Maybe I'll just not. Although I REALLY need to do it. Eating is another one. Or really just remembering to eat. Or making myself eat. I forget that I'm hungry until my stomach hurts. Or I'm just not hungry at all. I made myself eat dinner last night, an...