Skip to main content

The Fried Brain of a Single Mom

With the school year having started, trying to catch up on my house and editing, and then our normal church/work/social life, I am too drained to make my brain function enough to write a compelling, interesting, or legible blog entry. I'm looking around my house right now thinking "I should probably work on a few areas tomorrow. Before it gets out of hand." Just thinking that makes my brain hurt.

For example, I spent most of Thursday sitting on the couch or floor, computer in my lap, editing pictures. Then I managed to feed my kids, send them off to my Aunt's house, went to the gym, took a shower, and ended up staring at the window thinking "I should do. . ." *endless list running through my head. So I went to bed early instead.

Friday the girls did school, I did dishes, laundry, general getting ready for a busy work weekend things, and then was gone until about 11:30pm. Work was insane and we didn't leave until over an hour after we closed. I had to run to the store after that, exhausted, brain of mush, and couldn't remember what I had gone for. Only to get home, go to bed, get up, go back to work, pick up the girls, and from there we went a cookout, where talking to people we didn't know was suggested, and in my post work state, I mentally rebelled and refused to talk to anyone I didn't know at all. I was done with people. I was done with people whom I didn't already know and was already choosing to spend my time with. Anyone else, well, sorry. My social abilities for the weekend were fried.

We went to a county fair with a friend today after first service. By the time it was time to head home, I was again done with people. Done with crowds. Done. Mentally just done. I feel like I've hit a stage of "don't give a crap" and really just . . . don't give a crap. Sure, this may not be a very Christian attitude, but I have been so much of a go-out-of-my-way-for-everyone-else type of person. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, or that I need to change that, but I need to slow it down because we've got so much going on that I'm fried. I'm done. I'm exhausted mentally more than anything.

OH, and yes, I have found my first white hair. Not gray. White. Right smack dab on top of my head. It could very well be stress related. The past month has held a mountain of stress. I'm also rounding the corner to 30, so my body may be laughing at me saying "Just because you LOOK so young doesn't mean you won't be aging in other ways at the correct time." It's the same as it is with roaches. Where there is one, there are more than likely many. Woo-stinkin-hoo.

And on that note, it's time for the girls to go to bed. Homework is done, now it's time for mama to veg out for a bit before heading to bed. Anything else I had wanted to add is totally gone. I can't remember it. Brain = fried.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

4,015 Days

Ten years. Well, in reality, we're talking more like eleven. Ten years in the sense that ten years ago today my ex-husband walked out on me and the girls. Eleven in that there has been a lot that happened from 2004 until now. It's a long time, but it really isn't. It seems like so long, but it seems like it flew by. A lot has happened in the past eleven years. I feel a bit overwhelmed as I sit here and think back. It has been a long, winding, and rough road. So many ups and way too many downs. I had two kids, a marriage and divorce. I lost two brothers, which took my feet right out from under me. Got engaged, broke off said engagement. Battled depression. Got in shape and fell in love with CrossFit (It's my therapy). Raised two girls through their single digit years. Went through 2 cats, 2 turtles, are on our 3rd and 4th birds. Moved 3 times in less than 2 years, having lived at our current residence for 10 years now. Along with a variety of other things. This...

I Can't Stop Crying

After I put the girls to bed tonight, I turned on a Pandora station to help them fall asleep. Later on I was working on laundry in my bedroom when I heard this song come on in the living room. I stopped everything, went in, sat on the couch, and wept. Caleb really liked this guy, and we played this song at the calling hours. It's such a fitting song for where he is now. Someone told me it was like Caleb sent me that song tonight to know he's doing great in heaven. Unfortunately now I cannot stop crying. It's like it broke open the flood gates and the pain is flowing out. My heart is breaking, and I can't make it stop. I can't fix it. I can feel the ache in my heart. I keep remembering the last good visit I had with Caleb in the hospital, and how we just didn't see it coming. Bitter tears over one person's careless actions that took his life. I know, I KNOW that if it wasn't Caleb's time to go, God wouldn't have taken him home. But it still hu...