But God

I’m currently sitting here trying to get started. I have an internal battle, and since this is my first post in almost 4 years, I just don’t even know how to start. What to start with. Then satan’s lie of “No one cares what you have to say” creeps in. He throws another lie “You’re not interesting enough, smart enough, or good enough to do this.” I start typing something, and he makes me doubt the validity of it “this isn’t anything important enough to write about”. I’ve been battling these lies for weeks now. Trying to put to words what is on my heart. Trying to use my life, my experiences, my thoughts on things to help maybe one person out there. Because God is leading my heart towards it. Then satan reminds me of the people in my life who have said “No one cares” to me. Who have joked at my expense about what I feel is important. Ridiculed me. Satan used their “joking” to fill my head with lies that would be a stumbling block.

But God. A good reminder in the Bible during situations is when the next verse or sentence starts out “But God”. Hey everyone, this seemed too big, too rough, too out in left field, BUT GOD. In my life, the But God happened to be certain people in my life who, without knowing my mental and spiritual battle, spoke words into my life that shut down the lies. They spoke God’s word, TRUTH into my life that really gave me the encouragement I needed. So I prayed about it. God lead me to a book that kept pounding truth into my head. Who is saying “No one cares” or “You’re not good enough”? It’s certainly not God. And who are those people to stop me from following a simple calling of typing out words and putting them out there for the world to see, or not see. I then reached out to some friends that I felt God put on my heart to help me with this journey. Three very different women with very different experiences and roles in my life. To proof read my posts. Remind me to check my heart. Honestly tell me “Um, don’t post that.” or “How about you just leave that whole thing out.” I told them my fears, my insecurities, and my heart. They spoke more truth to me, are encouraging me, and promising to help me how they can. They may read this and tell me to scrap it. Who knows? I may struggle with all the ways I’m not “enough” in different areas for this, But God is enough.

I feel like a lot of times in the church people feel called to ministry, but forget that God calls us all to be ministers. They fix their eyes on their interpretation of what that calling means, and while it may be right for some, it may be wrong for others. Our ministry may not be as a pastor, a missionary, speaker or any of the things equated to those. It may be with those we come in contact with at work. Clients, customers, coworkers, suppliers. It may be with those we come in contact with in our normal day to day life at the store, our neighborhood, our HOMES. It may be who is watching us on social media. We are called to be a light to the world around us. How we live our lives is a ministry. Our testimony shows the world what a perfect God can do in our broken lives. We open up about our struggles in life and how God has worked through them, in them, and is healing us. I think a lot of times Christians feel the need to show off how they have it all together to entice others to come to Christ, but our human nature holds us back from that perfection, and to give off a “If you become a Christian it is a worry free zone and things work out great!” is just foolish. Should we strive for it? YES! But we shouldn’t be hypocrites and deny our fleshly struggles. We share it and how the power of God helps us overcome those struggles, even if we battle them til we die.

I see this blog as a part of my ministry. I’m a single mom, chicken farmer, homebody. I have a very cliche midwestern life (by the way, how is Ohio considered Midwest? Aren’t we more like West-Eastern?). My life may not seem all that great to many. I raise chickens for goodness sake. It’s not glorious, it’s not highly profitable, it’s dirty, solitary, and to many, it’s just gross. My ministry is my kids, teaching children’s church, the people around me, and social media/blogging. I may not make a big splash when it comes to what I do, I mean, other than the fact that I’m part of the less than 2% of Americans feeding 100% of America. Seriously, thank a farmer, and stop listening to people and marketing tactics of those who have NEVER SET FOOT ON OR WORKED ON A WORKING FARM. *Throws soapbox back in the corner* But God can use me in ways greater than I could even dream if I just open myself up to what I feel He is calling me to do. I will always have naysayers and ridicule. I will always face opposition. But that should never get in God’s way in our lives. Is God calling you to something? What lies is satan filling your head with to keep you from doing it? If satan is trying to stop you, what amazing thing are you about to do for Christ?