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Picking Apart

This week I began praying through Psalm 27. I love praying through verses because it helps me study the bible, and to really dig into praying more intentionally. I pick apart each line, praying and reflecting over the words and how they apply to my life.

Verse one says
"The Lord is my light and my salvation
-so why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
so why should I tremble?"

 I picked it apart.

"The Lord is my light." I am going through some things right now, and had been calling this time my darkness. But this verse says the Lord is my light. There can be no darkness where there is light. I am going through a valley, but there is no darkness because I have Christ.

"And my salvation." My salvation is not dependent upon me. And in fact nothing I do can really stand in God's way, so why am I afraid?

"So why should I be afraid?" Well, imagine my chuckle after thinking that previous ending thought, and then reading these next words.

"The Lord is my fortress." Not the shell I have retreated into. It's not a fortress so much as an illusion of one.

"Protecting me from danger." My shell has not protected me, but instead caused harm by shutting others out, by putting me in that mental place where my insecurities and fears attack and break me down. God provides me a safe fortress to protect me from even myself.

"So why should I tremble?" Why am I cowering in fear of these feelings of not being good enough? Not being good enough at anything, for anything, for anyone? Why am I so afraid of the opinions of others when their opinions most often are not reflective of my character? It doesn't change who I am in Christ.

In picking apart these verses in reflection and in prayer, I have been growing. In seeking Christ more intentionally, I have been finding myself more and more. How amazing that I was looking in all these places and failing over and over, yet when I get back to seeking Christ instead of myself, I find myself there!! In Him!

One of my favorite verses is verse 8.

"My heart has heard You say, "Come and talk with Me."
And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."

 I had been feeling Christ calling to my heart, and it took me a little bit, but my heart was responding, it was working it's way back to where it belongs. My identity is in Christ, and when I am feeling like I am losing myself, I only need to seek Him.

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