Reflections on My Year of New Things

Last year I decided it was a year of new things. New adventures. Trying new things. Well, looking back, it was. It was a great year! I'm bold and daring and a "Take the bull by the horns" kind of girl. But don't let that fool you. New things scare me. I don't like the unknown. I like knowing exactly what I'm doing and what's expected of me. New = unknown. So, while I'll jump in head first, it takes me a lot of mental prep to actually jump.

W4: I was so blessed to be asked to be the water games coordinator for our VBS last year. I was very unsure of what I was getting myself into. The fun and safety of 200+ kids in the water!? I was blessed to have a great coordination team to work with in the planning stages, and God blessed me beyond belief with my water games leaders and staff. We had a fabulous week! I was one staff member short for leaders, so I was also the preschool game leader. It was crazy fun, but I had to be EXTRA loud to be heard with all the other noise going on, and all the fun distractions the water and sand caused my precious little preschoolers.     As predicted, I lost my voice. But after 2 months it was still gone, and starting to hurt. By three months out I decided to go to a ENT. I had 2 polyps on my vocal cords and needed voice therapy. Thankfully, with a great therapist and being good at my vocal hygiene, I got my voice fully back by November. So another new thing to add to my year was vocal trama/ENT/scopes. YUCK. If you've ever had a scope of your vocal cords, you will totally understand how terrible it is. I again this year will be taking on the role of water games coordinator, and couldn't be more excited! Our first planning meeting is next week, and I'm so ready for this!!

Boot camp: I started boot camp last April with the intentions of just doing the 3 week deal. I loved it. So, I told the trainer I'd go til I hit 12 weeks. Nope. Kept going. Now I'm only 2 months away from my 1 year mark!! What a crazy year it's been! I lost over 25 inches, 9lbs, and about 5% body fat! I went from a size 8 to a size 3. I have learned to eat clean. Natural, not so much organic, but natural. I became known as a beast. 

Warrior Dash '12
After rinsing off some of the mud

I ran the Warrior Dash in the summer, and am signed up to run again with a large group from the gym in memory of a great trainer and friend. On Black Friday we did a fitness challenge that was timed. 6 exercises at 100 reps each. Everyone was timed individually, and then times were ranked in place order. I got 3rd overall. I couldn't believe it! The friends I have gained are amazing. We are very much a gym family. My trainer is crazy amazing. She knows how to push me, motivate me, and make me move faster! "Pick it up!! THROW IT DOWN!! MOVE FASTER!!!!!" And to keep from hitting her in the face with it, I move faster. Hahaha!! I have grown so much under her wing. 

Doing a plank tower with the trainer and another friend.
I would be the one on top. 

She's recently added a lot LOT of crossfit into our workouts, and I love it even more!

The girls are both in online classes now, and doing very well.

Fall '12

 Jenna is enjoying being a little girl still, and Courtney is trying to grow up faster than she needs to. They will both be going to church camp this summer. Courtney is SO excited, and it's all she can talk about. I know two things. 1) They will love it! and 2) I'm going to be a mess without them. They'll be about 2+ hours away, and I'll be doing my best to keep it together while my babies, my BABIES, are gone.

    Another thing that was new this year was letting go of some things and letting God have it. A lot of my worries, things I wanted to control but couldn't, a lot of family stuff. I just let it go. Like letting a bunch of balloons go and watching them rise up, up, and away. What a great feeling. 
   I also decided I was perfectly happy with where I was as a single mom. I was where I was, and that was how it was. God may not have someone out there for me, and I wasn't going to worry about it anymore. Now, how that mentality worked when I found a free trial of Match.com and decided to try it out, I do not know. But it did. I did that free trial around the beginning of December. I had no intentions of finding anyone, I just wanted to see what was out there. I talked to a few guys, but no one worth giving my number to or meeting. And then I stumbled across this farmer, who had a lot of the qualities and back round I was looking for. I emailed him, he emailed me back, and about a week later we met. I really didn't think it was going to go well, never did before. Yeah, I was wrong. It went well, is still going well, and honestly, I'm falling pretty hard for this guy. He adores me. He adores the girls, and they think he's awesome. He keeps saying or doing things that I'm not expecting, but have wanted in, or from a guy. I never thought I'd actually find a guy like this. Now, there is always the ever so cautious me that says "Don't get too close." or "He doesn't know ______ about my past yet. He might walk away." or "He hasn't seen you on a bad day yet." But I'm trying to not let those major insecurities and unknowns get the best of me. Just trusting God's timing. I mean, seriously, His finger prints are ALL over this. I'm also learning about walls I had built up and insecurities that I never knew I had. Scariest word ever: vulnerability. Being more than just surface me, and risking hurt or embarrassment with someone. . . trusting them. EEK! It's kind of like trying to pry M&M's out of a 2 year old's clenched fist. So yeah, another new for last year. A new relationship.

    I think this year is going to be a year of trust. Learning to trust in other people, like my boyfriend, and learning to trust God more in things. I need to stop saying "I've got this." all of the time, and let others help me. It's not just a pride thing, it's a fear of letting people help with something, seeing something they don't like about me, and then they kind of back off and are out of the picture after that. Or I feel that's what's happening, so I act strange with them. I'm learning what a major mess of trust issues I have, and this year I would like to overcome some of those hurdles. 

And on that note, it's about time to hit the gym!! WOOHOO!!!