Skip to main content

Oh the Randomness of this Blog

I feel that life has taken some huge turns as of late. Some great, some. . . not so much. Some I can tell about, some. . . I'd just rather not. Some are yet to be decided.

     First of all, I love my small group. I can't believe how great a fit we are! The personalities, the kids. We're so weird!! Last night I shared a recent issue I have to deal with. Most people would say "Is there anything we can do?" or "Can we help?". Passive offers. While there is nothing wrong with that, for someone like me, it is much more effective the way it was worded last night, "What do you need from us? What can we do? What do you need us to do?" Not asking if, but what. I put my independent "I can do this" self on a shelf, because really, I just keep getting so overwhelmed that I can't do it. I told them what I needed, they rallied behind me, made a plan, and encouraged me. This group is so tight knit, so there for each other. God really placed me where He wanted me.

     On the home school front, I am learning more and more about my children's learning styles. Courtney is an auditory learner. She says something out loud and gets it! I also recently learned that she does so much better with music on. Her attitude is better, she focuses and is more determined. I LOVE IT!!! Jenna, well, she's not an auditory learner, so now I have to learn what works with her. She is very smart, and has picked up on the reading aspect of things much faster than her sister, but I have to figure out what her learning style is so I can help her advance more.

     On the dating front, nothing has changed. There is no such thing as a date in my life. I'm becoming more and more ok with this. The idea of figuring out how to date and be in any sort of relationship, while keeping it very separate from my children. . . it's pretty scary and overwhelming. When do I have time for that? Ummm . . . I don't. Sure, when the right guy comes along, I will make time for it, but I haven't had time to do much of anything lately. I feel like I'm spinning in circles. What doesn't help is the married men that come in to my work and make fools of themselves. One guy actually asked me in front of the other waitress "When do you work?". He's been one that we've known has a "thing" for me for a while. He comes in while his wife is at work. He comes when I'm there, but if he doesn't see me (or I'm not there) he looks for me. He makes TOO much eye contact, asks only me too many personal questions, and watches me like a hawk while I'm working. I just wanna poke him in the eyes! I don't date married men. I don't date separated men. I don't date older men. I don't date because single men that are good solid Christians, near my age, that are near my type. . . they just are all taken or not interested. It's sad when a 28 year old single mom is passed over because fun travel and carefree lifestyle are not in her cards anymore. Ok, so I'm done with the venting about men. It feels like that's almost all I do on here anymore!!

     I had planned on being a team leader for Relay for Life this year, but just have been so bogged down that it doesn't seem doable. It doesn't help that the Relay is the weekend before W4 (our VBS), and I'm on the leadership team. I just can't add that into my hectic life. I have enough on my plate already.

     My kids, as of late, fight constantly. They can't play for more than 5 minutes without starting to argue, yell, boss, hit, pinch, yell some more. AHHHHH!!!! I just can't handle much more of it. At least the weather is picking up so I can send them outside. . . to play in the rocks of the parking area. Fail! Oh to have a yard.

     I have this awful feeling of a missed opportunity this morning at church. I was talking to a few friends right after service and noticed someone out the corner of my eye that I had talked to a few weeks ago. It seemed like they were waiting on me to talk to, but it didn't dawn on me until it was too late. I hate the "oh shoot" feeling that won't go away. I shouldn't let it hang over my head. There's always next week or the next. I have to be more direct. Intentional. I just need to pray that it doesn't become a strong hold in my week. It's already been bugging me all day. That little nagging in the back of my mind. On the other side of that, I did talk to a parent of one of my Jr church kids later, and got to know her better. Making new friends is always so fun!

     Ok, for not having any idea of what I was going to blog about, this randomly became quite long! While typing it, I watched in dismay as the squirrel that still lives in my walls running around on the roof across the ally from me. All I could think of was "If only I had remembered to get Wyatt's airsoft gun. . . POW!. . . or PING!" I'm also watching a storm roll in. You can barely see the lightening, and the thunder is distant. I love thunderstorms. In town it makes it hard to enjoy them as much, but when I lived at my parent's house, I would go out in the barn, sit on the porch, or just sit by a window and watch the storm. I am fascinated by them. I always have been. When I was really little, I would put a chair between the curtains and sliding glass door, and watch the lightening.

     On that note, I need to make supper.

The.End.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Life Gets a Little Crazy

I feel like sleeping, not blogging, so this will be a bit more rushed than normal. It's been so long since I've posted anything, I just felt that it was about time I caught up (not that anyone really cares. Haha).     Being sick got me behind in everything from laundry and dishes to sleep and school work with the girls. . . and editing photos. Now life has been full of catching up and cleaning up.     I found the cure to Courtney's inability to sleep before I go to bed. Constant music. I found a Disney lullaby cd at the library, and have been playing it all night in their room. Courtney sleeps so much better, which means I sleep much better!      My photography session scheduling went crazy the past 2 months and I have been struggling to keep up with all the editing. The editing takes lots of time. Here's an example: I sat for 3 hours straight just color correcting wedding pictures. You would normally think "WOW!! She probably got a whole lot done!"...

“...In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Caleb's funeral was today. There were so many emotions going. It started out okay. People coming in, greeting them, trying to find where my girls were running off to with friends and cousins. So many people came to support us yesterday and today. We were so blessed and so thankful to all who came. It was a great funeral. The music, the message, the friends who got up and spoke. Some of the things said that really meant a lot to me were: 1) Anyone who says that someone physically handicap has no quality of life needs just to look at the life of Caleb to be proven 100% wrong. He lived life to it's fullest. He was a great man of God who studied theology, he wrote wonderfully, and he loved people. His lifelong battle with Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy never got in the way of his faith, family, and friends. He didn't complain about his handicap. He lived strong in spite of it. 2) Anyone who knows my family knows what trials we have faced. One friend said: All of you ou...

The Things that Come with Mourning

My amazing, wonderful, Godly, and dear brother Caleb died on Friday, August 9th, 2013 at 10:35am. My parents 33rd wedding anniversary and the day before Courtney's 9th birthday. My heart is crushed. I know that he is in heaven, and I am praising the Lord at this. I have peace and joy. But right now I am mourning his earthly departure. I miss him so very much. I'm straining my memory to hear his voice. I'm helping my daughters grieve. I'm watching them try to process and deal with this, and it is breaking my heart. Some things I am learning about mourning. You really just don't care about things. Like laundry. I realized I desperately need to do laundry. I also don't care. Maybe I'll do it. Maybe I'll just not. Although I REALLY need to do it. Eating is another one. Or really just remembering to eat. Or making myself eat. I forget that I'm hungry until my stomach hurts. Or I'm just not hungry at all. I made myself eat dinner last night, an...