The Blessed Life of a Single Mom

It's almost been 2 months since Caleb died. It feels like it's been so much longer. All of August is a blur. I don't remember most of it. September is less foggy, but still I look at my calender and think "Oh yeah, we did do that. It feels like forever ago." Everything is kind of in a haze. I don't know why, but this past week has been especially hard. Everyone thinks that I'm such a strong person, and I feel like in thinking that they kind of forget me. True or not true, that is just how I feel. And I put on a strong front and say "I'm good" or "I'm fine" when really I'm like an old cement bridge, crumbling to pieces on the inside. I don't really notice until a big chunk falls. I'll sit and cry. I'll sit and stare. I'll have things that need to be done yesterday, and I just can't find it in me to care. So yesterday at church, I stopped saying "I'm fine". I was honest with the people who...

More - Andrew Peterson This is not the end here at this grave  This is just a hole that someone made  Every hole was made to fill  And every heart can feel it still--  Our nature hates a vacuum  This is not the hardest part of all  This is just the seed that has to fall  All our lives we till the ground  Until we lay our sorrows down  And watch the sky for rain  There is more  More than all this pain  More than all the falling down  And the getting up again  There is more  More than we can see  From our tiny vantage point  In this vast eternity  There is more  A thing resounds when it rings true  Ringing all the bells inside of you  Like a golden sky on a summer eve  Your heart is tugging at your sleeve  And you cannot say why  There must be more  There is more  More than we can stand  Standing in the glory  Of a love that never ends  There i...

Psalm 27 New International Version (NIV) Psalm 27 Of David. 1  The  Lord  is my light  and my salvation —      whom shall I fear? The  Lord  is the stronghold  of my life—      of whom shall I be afraid? 2  When the wicked advance against me      to devour [ a ]  me, it is my enemies and my foes      who will stumble and fall. 3  Though an army besiege me,      my heart will not fear; though war break out against me,      even then I will be confident. 4  One thing  I ask from the  Lord ,      this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the  Lord      all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the  Lord      and to seek him in his temple. 5  For in the day of trouble      he...

So I have been misunderstood, and feel like I should redo this whole thing and put it here. Beware, I will be being myself, and if you don't know me well, may take it terribly wrong. If so, and you think I'm being mean, read it again with a different mindset until you get it right. How will you know? You'll think "Hmmm... that's bitingly sarcastic and funny!" That is unless you don't have a sense of humor. Then you're just out of luck and probably shouldn't read any farther. I have been a single mom for over 8 years. I decided that the general public needs to be reminded what not to tell us singles because, well, they keep saying the same programmed responses. Empty responses that others seem to feel responsible for telling us. Over and over and over and over. . . . Singles Christians everywhere get told the same placating remarks every day. At least once. We may be asked if we're seeing anyone, we may be venting about being tired of being ...

With the school year having started, trying to catch up on my house and editing, and then our normal church/work/social life, I am too drained to make my brain function enough to write a compelling, interesting, or legible blog entry. I'm looking around my house right now thinking "I should probably work on a few areas tomorrow. Before it gets out of hand." Just thinking that makes my brain hurt. For example, I spent most of Thursday sitting on the couch or floor, computer in my lap, editing pictures. Then I managed to feed my kids, send them off to my Aunt's house, went to the gym, took a shower, and ended up staring at the window thinking "I should do. . ." *endless list running through my head. So I went to bed early instead. Friday the girls did school, I did dishes, laundry, general getting ready for a busy work weekend things, and then was gone until about 11:30pm. Work was insane and we didn't leave until over an hour after we closed. I had to...